I Am Bee Mice Elf

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.” ~W.C. Fields

Archive for the 'Life' Category

Can I say this? Should I say this? I’m GOING to say this!

A very successful writer friend once told me “never put the apology upfront.” I wrote that first because, if you’re expecting an apology, you might as well stop reading now.  She also said “avoid cliches,” but this whole thing is so predictable it’s hard to avoid them. I’m going to say it. I’m not surprised […]

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Erica – A living Comet A Dirty Snowball

Comets are often referred to as “dirty snowballs.”  says these people .   I was not aware of that until I looked it up for this story. I have to laugh, because I love describing my friend as a dirty snowball – But I’m getting ahead of myself. The obvious first question is, who is Erica? Erica Chase-Salerno was […]

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Deja Vu of a drunk… RIP Hermie

I love Facebook.  I would venture to say it touches on a mild “addiction” — it is usually the first thing I check in the morning, and the last thing I do before bed.  I can use it for productive reasons.  I can be prepared for road closings and inclement weather, and I can find […]

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i’m 47 years old – i AM 47 years old – I am 47 years OLD

I went to get ice cream the other day — they were out of chocolate sprinkles.  The girl working asked if I wanted rainbow instead.  NO! I don’t care that I’m 47 years old – chocolate and rainbow sprinkles are NOT the same! They are not interchangeable.   I can’t even believe she would suggest such […]

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The Shape of My Damage – Kintsugi

I don’t cry in front of people- it means I’m “a baby” and I’m weak,  at least that’s what I was told.  I don’t talk about the things closest to my heart, like my kids or my deepest fears, I don’t talk about the shape of my damage – because people will use those things […]

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Humans, Compassion, Policies, Lawsuits and Independent Contractors

I have a big mouth, I’m unsophisticated and I’m juvenile.  It’s gotten me trouble more times than I can count, for as far back as I can remember.  Now, as a grown up –I shudder even typing those words– I sometimes don’t know when to speak up.  I don’t know whether, it’s the immature me […]

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We’re All Alone Together – I’m out on a Day Pass

I hate doing housework.  Not that housework itself isn’t reason enough to hate it, I usually wind up thinking … well not so much “thinking” as listening to the angel on my one shoulder converse with the devil on my other– It’s more like… eavesdropping on myself.  Sometimes I blast my stereo to drown them […]

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Mom of a Daughter? Mom of a Son? Mom of Human Beings.

I was just very recently introduced to the expression “rape culture”, by a 15 year old girl who thought it was her job to school me on why I’m a “misogynistic pig who clearly hates her own gender.”  What did I do? What did I say to warrant  this very passionate presumption about my entire […]

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Cheaters, Crappy Parents and Facebook

“Facebook causes too much drama.”  This is the number one reason given when you ask a person why they don’t have a page.  I don’t think Facebook “causes” anything, although I do concede that it does help aid the drama that exists without Facebook.  Just like, I don’t think Facebook “makes” people cheat, although, it […]

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